Monday, February 4, 2013

The Bachelor: Montana Edition

In the words of Chris Harrison, "Welcome back, ladies".  It looks like we are headed to Montana for tonight's Bachelor.  Montana looks really beautiful from that itty bitty airplane on which Sean is arriving.  Oh my, the plane just landed on the water.

Lindsay just found out she's going on the one-on-one date.  She cried a little.  Of course, all of the other girls are jealous.

Enter helicopter.

Montana is absolutely gorgeous! I need to add that I would be throwing up from fear if I was in that helicopter.

Sean told Lindsay that he likes her because she isn't high maintenance.  For the record, I'm pretty sure that's why Brian Murray fell in love with me too.

Now Sean and Lindsay are in a lovely lodge looking building.  There is a fire.  Quite romantic.  He likes her a lot by the looks of these kisses.  And Lindsay gets the first rose of the night.  She thinks the night is over, but she is wrong.  There is a concert going on down the street just for them.  So they dance in front of everybody.  I don't know which is worse...that helicopter ride or dancing in front of everybody.  She's obviously a cooler cat than I am.

Back at the girl's house, the group date card has just been delivered.  The girls who have their names on the card are relieved because everybody knows they don't want to go on the upcoming two-on-one date where somebody WILL go home.

Group date time! The girls are instructed about a relay race including a canoe race, hay, sawing logs, and milking goats.  You have to be kidding me.  So the competition begins.  Those canoes are all over the place. Oh, bless their hearts.  Now they are milking the goat.  And the goat just kicked over the milk they worked so hard to get.  That would SO be my luck.  And now Desiree is drinking the milk.  Grody!!!

So the blue team are the losers and off they go back to the house.  The red teams wins and gets to hang around with Sean for the evening.  Lucky them.  Apparently, drinking goat milk makes one lucky.

Sean just invited the blue team to come back to the party.  Oh, those red girls are going to be so mad! They just drank goat's milk for crying out loud to win the time with him!!! And now the others get to come back.  Big mistake Sean.

Addendum: Drinking goat's milk does not in fact make one lucky.

Oh, they are mad!

And now, Tierra is headed that way too.  And she wasn't even part of the blue or red team.  What is she doing? That girl is cray cray.  Bless her heart.  If those other girl's see her, she is dead meat.

So now she's questioning why she is having to go on a two-on-one date.  She thinks she deserves all of his time.  But unfortunately, that just isn't what she signed up for!  Lucky for her, none of the other girls saw her. I bet she had some goat's milk before she went over there.

Now, the game of "It's my turn, no it's my turn" begins.  The girls are stealing him away left and right.

My viewing partner, Max, is very asleep right now.  He's totally over all of this drama.

Daniella cries to Sean, but she gets the rose.

Now it's finally time for the date with Tierra and Jackie.  They are going horse back riding.  I'm very afraid that Jackie is going to try to talk to Sean about Tierra.  He doesn't like that kind of thing.  Oh no, I was right.  She's talking.  About Tierra.  To Sean.  I really think that's a mistake.  See: Kacie B.

There is awkward silence at dinner.  Now Tierra is spending some alone time with Sean.  I think he will send Jackie home.  I was right.  Poor Jackie.  Tierra is very happy.  Fireworks.  Of course.

So it's the night of the rose ceremony.  Sean reassures Desiree.  Tierra storms out of the room so she doesn't have to be around the other girls.  She says she wants to fight them all.  Two girls decide to confront her.  This could be bad.  Sean walked by and saw Tierra fussing at Robyn.  So he's going to talk to her.  She tells him she's not a drama person at all and that all of the other girls are attacking her.

Sean asks Lesley for specific information about Tierra.  She tells him the truth without being too ugly.  He really put her in a difficult situation.

Sean is very frustrated.  Time for the roses.  Selma gets a rose.  Katherine, Lesley, AshLee, Sarah, and Desiree all get roses.  Goodbye Robyn.

*It's a two episode week for Bachelor.  More drama tomorrow night.  Bring it on.

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