Friday, March 30, 2012

Here's What's Happening On The Ranch...

I don't really live on a ranch. I just wanted to say that since Ree Drummond says it all the time on her cooking show, and maybe I wish I had a cooking show. Or maybe I just want a cowboy.  Can't you just see Brian Murray with chaps, boots, and a cowboy hat? Now that would be a show to see.  Fo Sho. (By the way, I talk about Pioneer Woman a lot on this here blog...she really should pay me.)

Let's play a little catch up, shall we?

1. I'm having some serious technical difficulties.  I've been mostly using my phone, Phoebe, to take pictures lately.  Unfortunately for me, Phoebe has decided that she will not under any circumstances let me transfer the pictures to the computer.  She has always cooperated in the past, so I have no idea why she's giving me such a hard time. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks

2. I haven't been able to update my other blog.  See number one.

3. I went to the doctor this week.  For a checkup.  You know, THE checkup.  Fun times.

4. When I called the number I've called for the last three months to find out when I needed to report for my next $11, here was the recording: "Jury panels A, B, & C, we are pleased to inform you that your jury service is over."  Hallelujah.  I was on Panel C in case you're wondering.  I'm pretty sure C stood for Crazy.  Why else would I be in that group? There were some other interesting folks in my group who fit the description quite nicely as well.

5. Tonight's pizza crust was the best yet.  I hesitate to bring it up because I know you HAVE to be sick to death of hearing about pizza crust.  I figure I've brought you this far, and in the words of Conway Twitty (may he rest in peace), "You've never been this far before, pum pum pum". 

6. If you don't love Conway Twitty and know his songs then get out of here.  Just kidding. Please don't go.

7. Hello Darlin' (See numbers five and six).

8. We had what I like to refer to as a bit of a dead fish situation.  You see, Claire had a dead fish.  Dead as a doornail.  Oh sweet Tara, you will be missed. It was really pitiful to see Tara on the pink rocks upside down with all of her beautiful pink color completely gone from her body.  In fact, it seemed as if Katie the frog was taking the news especially hard.  She kept sitting right beside her, and I was pretty sure I saw a little frog tear in her eye.  Until ~ Katie suddenly had Tara in her mouth.  I'm going to be keeping an eye on Katie from now on.  For all we know, it was cold-blooded murder right there in the fish tank.  The only eyewitness is Ella, the other pink fish.  She was swimming around so frantically that I can't yet determine if she is terrified by what she witnessed or nervous because she was an accomplice. 

9. My hair is dark brown.  Well, actually it's just a little darker than normal, but I tend to exaggerate just a little (in case you haven't noticed). I've been trying to let a little, tiny bit of what I think is my natural color sneak back in for the last few months.  Then my hair lady, the one who took off half my eyebrow last time, decided to speed up the process a little.  No pictures at this time. See number one.

10. I've been having ridiculous dreams.  I have always had lots of dreams that I remember, but last night's dream was just too hilarious not to share.  In this dream, it was my first day of high school.  I was in this humongous school, and my real-life high school friend Jason and I were frantically searching for our first class.  I ended up in this really large auditorium sitting next to my friend Staci.  Turns out, Staci was there for her daughter's wedding.  In my dream, her daughter was all grown up and had a totally different hair color.  It's also probably worth noting that Staci was wearing a wedding dress for her own daughter's wedding and sitting really far from the stage.  Then suddenly I realized we were at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas.  The End. 

I think I'll stop with ten because I really think I've reached the limit on how much crazy you can handle at one time. 

1 comment:

Staci said...

I don't know where to start, girl. This was hilarious! Thanks for the shout out, by the way. :) I would love to see your hair. I'm so glad you guys got a winner on the pizza crust. Happy to hear jury duty is over! Woo hoo! And I actually do know Conway Twitty...and the songs you mentioned. I'm sure you're shocked. :) Miss you girl! And tell Claire I'm so sorry to hear about Tara. It sounds like Katie might need some therapy.